Monday, January 31, 2011

The cough, the couch and the clinic: My immune system in flashback

Mode of distraction: Checking for yellow phlegm. 
Distracting me from: Thank-you notes, taking out the trash.

I was shivering like it was 2002. Once upon a time, I was missing an antibody for sinus infections and had an abscessed left tonsil that turned any limp protest to my immune system into a full-fledged W-A-R on my body. From about eighth grade through high school, I would get really sick about 6-8 times a school year. Like, bed-ridden sick. People cried hypochondria, I just cried. One by one, the reasons were discovered, and I felt sweet, sweet redemption. And a functioning immune system.

Well, this past week I came down with Type A Influenza. According to FluFACTS, this type of virus is commonly found in every barnyard animal in the world...and humans, too. Listed last. After the swine. Ouch. It is also the umbrella for things like H1N1 and the like, which I did not have (breathe easy, classmates...but do watch for symptoms. Kisses!).

Anyway, I made it to class--more or less--but otherwise missed plenty o' work (paid for that today and will continue to the rest of the week) and spent most of the time sitting on my couch wrapped in all the fabric I could find feeling like I was lying naked in Antarctica. Melodramatic enough for you? A 102.6 temperature will do that to a (whiny gay) man. Praise Roseanne for leftover Vicodin...and Roseanne itself. I marathoned the entire beloved sixth season.


For my money, and this includes my future hundreds of millions in lottery winnings, seasons four through seven of this show are some of the best in TV history, period. All hail!

Anyway, after repeated doses of Roseanne, "Tylenol," and sleepless nights weren't doing the trick, I succumbed to going to the USF Health Clinic (part of the St. Mary's Medical Center) drop-in hours. To anyone else in such a desperate state: get there before 1 p.m. to sign up. I got there just a bit later, which was okay, but by 1:45 there was a line of sniffles and puffy faces that you do not want to be a part of. The doctor I saw was perfectly lovely and helpful, quickly identified my symptoms, and had medicine for me within two hours at the pharmacy closest to my house.



Tamiful has been a miracle worker. I am now actually ready for school and will return to class with appropriate vigor. Those of you who have me in class for the first time--last week ain't what I'm about. Just you wait.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Everyone Loves a List, Pt. II

Mode of distraction: Trying not to type too much about all the entertainment I've loved in the past year.
Distracting me from: Actually eating lunch on my lunch break.

More listing! More countdowns! More verbosity (...just go with it)! Below are my opinions on the best TV shows, songs, albums and novels of the past year (more or less). Again, my movie ranking is going to be a whole separate, spectacular ordeal in itself to coincide with Oscar nominations. Anyway, please be sure to familiarize yourself with everything listed here and I'm sure you'll see why each has earned their various spots on my list.

T V   S H O W S
1. Weeds - Haters to the left. The writers of this show have abandoned formula and faux-fans in the name of one person: Nancy Botwin. They've chained themselves to her destructive hip, and the result is the most unpredictable and exciting television on right now. With a cast that's simply better than the rest--including the best actress on TV, Mary-Louise Parker--Weeds delivered once again and was as addicting as ever while providing their most intense and emotional finale to date. The next season is said to be the last. I'll be crying for days.

2. Modern Family - With the almost impossible task of following up a pitch-perfect first season, they found a way to pull it off--mostly by highlighting the hilarious Sofia Vergara.
3. Damages - The smartest drama on TV, period. And Glenn Close gives gives Ms. Parker a run for her money week after week. It's moved to DirectTV due to lack of viewers on Fox, so...you should all be ashamed of yourselves.
4. Dexter - Like Modern Family, Dexter had to find a way to beat an unbeatable season. It didn't, but it came as close as seemingly possible. GIVE JENNIFER CARPENTER AN EMMY ALREADY.
5. The Amazing Race - I tend to get too emotionally invested in this show so that when the wrong team wins, it's my least favorite show of all time. But the beloved, smart, athletic, and kind-hearted doctors won out, so all was right in reality TV land. This is a reality TV show even people who hate reality TV shows would like.
6. Nurse Jackie - All signs point to this becoming my Weeds replacement (which is not to say it's as good, but it'll do). Edie Falco is fabulous and pulls together a truly puzzling character into something watchable...95% of the time. Sometimes Jackie is too puzzling, and that may be the show's downfall depending on what they do next season...but for now, I'm hooked on the humor.
7. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - SHUT UP. It's the most delicious reality TV out there right now, and Lisa's wealth and gloriousness alone could buy all the other franchises' housewives combined. Plus, Allison Dubois anyone? Pure evil.
8. The Big C - Laura Linney anchored an uneven season, but the storage unit scene in the finale? Perfection. And heartbreaking.
9. The Walking Dead - Six episodes is an easy way to cure a potential lack of storyline ideas, but every week I was compelled more than I expected (or even wanted) to be. We'll see what the future holds.
10. United States of Tara - Not quite the energy or wit of Nurse Jackie, but more believable characters (...within the context of the premise) with a more emotional core.

...no, I have not seen Mad Men. Yes, I intend to.

S O N G S
1. "Your Love's A Drug," Leighton Meester - The summer smash you never heard. It's a silly #1, I suppose, but I haven't been able to stop listening to it since July. Fresher than "California Gurls," sexier than "Alejandro," and more fun than whatever paint-by-numbers, dance-song hit Ke$ha spat out, this is a contender to be my song-of-the-summer two years in a row.

2. "Rolling in the Deep," Adele - Her tone is so captivating I could listen to just about anything she sings. But the song is fantastic all on its own, so...win.
3. "57821," Janelle Monae - One of the many gems diamonds from her album, The ArchAndroid. Everything about this is perfection to me, and the only way it could be any better is if I listened to it with headphones and a joint.
4. "Man Down," Rihanna - A stellar album track off her okay follow-up to Rated R, this is my official bad-mood song.
5. "I Am," Christina Aguilera - Another album track off an even worse album, Christina somehow reigns in her over-the-top vocals into something vulnerable and lovely.
6. "Loca," Shakira - Dance or die indeed.
7. "Telephone," Lady Gaga feat. Beyoncé - Controlled chaos at its finest. Not my initial favorite off the near-perfect The Fame Monster, but the most persistent fun a year-plus later.
8. "Soldier of Love," Sade - Epic in its sound, Sade came back hard with a song that felt both current and classic Sade.
9. "Indestructible," Robyn - Took me a while to get into her, but I eventually got sucked into the trance of her album, especially on this song.
10. "Tighten Up," The Black Keys - Admittedly, this band is hit-or-miss for me, but this is a big hit.
Honorable mentions: "Fuckin' Perfect," P!nk; "Commander," Kelly Rowland; "Weightless," Natasha Bedingfield; "Gone and Never Coming Back," Melanie Fiona; "Give a Little More," Maroon 5; "Don't You Wanna Stay," Jason Aldean feat. Kelly Clarkson (obviously).

These next two lists were originally looking a bit...anemic. Therefore, I've included albums and novels that were at least new to me in 2010 to give them a bit more weight.

A L B U M S
1. The ArchAndroid, Janelle Monae - The most creative and diverse album I've ever heard. Now, I'm a tad musically ignorant, so take that as you will, but even so, this girl is from another planet--one where they have better music. It's required to listen from this from start to finish to get the whole effect, so...be sure to do that.

2. Sale el Sol, Shakira - Can't understand 95% of it, but there's undeniable energy throughout. Plus, Spanish Shakira > English Shakira.
3. The Bridge, Melanie Fiona - Actually from 2009...and I guess I technically discovered her in 2011, but this is my blog and she deserves a spot for such a great R&B album full of jams, particularly "Give It To Me Right."
4. Greatest Hits...So Far!, P!nk - It's a decade of P!nk classics. 'Nuff said.
5. Battle Studies, John Mayer - Again, didn't actually buy this until 2010. Not as fantastic as Continuum, but not a dud on the CD.
6. Try This, P!nk - I was in a P!nk mood this year, big time. So I gave her maligned Try This a try and was pleasantly surprised. It's great. Some weaker tracks, to be sure, but "Waiting for Love" is one of her best songs ever.
7. Body Talk, Robyn - The two exceedingly repetitive songs drag this down a few notches, but otherwise, call me a convert.
8. Soldier of Love, Sade - Sadly, nothing as immediately impacting as the title track exists, but the rest of the CD is undeniably lovely and solid.
9. Kaleidoscope Heart, Sara Bareilles - She didn't get a "Love Song"-type hit this time around, but the CD is mostly pleasant and fresh from start to finish.
10. Hands All Over, Maroon 5 - Not gonna lie, it's not all great. But some of the songs are great, and that's enough to garner a final spot in the top 10 when nothing else was in the running.

B O O K S
1. The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, Maggie O'Farrell - Offers mystery, multiple character points of view, and so many layers of human anguish that it's one of the most thrilling literary reads I've experienced in a while. Inspiring.

2. A Home at the End of the World, Michael Cunningham - Another masterful approach to multiple points of view, this chronicles the growth of two very different boys in love with each other in different ways, and is a rich reading experience from beginning to end.
3. Cat's Eye, Margaret Atwood - I was ready to put this at my #1 until Brian called something out about the ending that doesn't sit well with me, but otherwise the writing is astoundingly good, and so is the story. In my fantasy, I use this quote to open my novel-in-progress:
4. Another Country, James Baldwin - Feels relevant and provocative today, and it was published in 1962 by a gay African American. The writing is charged, dense, and always captivating.
5. The Days of Abandonment, Elena Ferrante - This novel forces the readers to follow the downward spiral and mental collapse of the protagonist--like a more successful and engaging The Bell Jar. Yes, I said it. Sorry, Sylvia.
6. Ordinary People, Judith Guest - How do you make a novel about a tragedy readable and enjoyable? Ask her.
7. The World of Normal Boys, K.M. Soehnlein - Written by a former professor of mine at USF, this was a particularly great read for me because I couldn't help but wish someone had given it to me when I was 13.
8. The Epicure's Lament, Kate Christensen - I can only imagine how much fun it was to write this. The narrator and main character is a man who refuses to give up smoking even though it is actively killing him--he would rather kill himself than live without cigarettes. A fabulous and hysterical anti-hero.
9. Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned, Wells Tower - Okay, so, I haven't read the entire short story collection, which is really the only reason it's so low on the list, because what I've had read has been fabulous. A strong and diverse voice fully colors each story. Can't wait to read it all.
10. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary, David Sedaris - Again, not a collection I've read to completion, but deserves a shout-out because I saw him read this live back when it hadn't even been published yet and he was still taking notes as he was reading. Laughed so hard tears came to my eyes. He was wonderful (thanks for bringing me, Elliot!).

Now to shovel some food in my mouth and get back to work.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Everyone Loves a List, Pt. I

Mode of distraction: Obsessive list-making and worrying over forgotten items
Distracting me from: Looking up movie times for tonight, keeping boyfriend company while he cooks

I thought of doing a 2010 review for my first blog post, but I felt like the whole "looking backward as I move forward" contradiction would create some sort of bad blog karma. And with only two followers, who needs that? (Feel necessary pity and shame here.)

I spent the day compiling these various "Top 10 in 2010" lists, which provided lovely mini-distractions on a particularly grizzly Friday. Undoubtedly you must expect movies to be the first thing I list, but no--that list will come later when I post my tame and reserved Oscar opinions (just a few more films to see first). Also to no one's surprise, I can't help but write too much about everything, so this post will be split in two--starting with the more personal lists.

Here we go, y'all. My Top 10 in 2010, Part One:

Y E A R   H I G H L I G H T S 
1. Family vacation to Montana - A truly necessary respite from the city to Big Sky country. Gorgeous scenery coupled with the always splendid and loving McKay family all wrapped up at the cabin? Unbeatable. Throw the Sip-n-Dip and "Say My Name" and "No Scrubs" karaoke and we've got a contender for highlight of the decade.


2. Publication in the Saints + Sinners 2010 Literary Festival Anthology -  My short story, "Dancing Pink Roses," won runner-up in this inaugural LGBT fiction contest. The winner? A former Pulitzer Prize nominee. Cool stuff. Even cooler? It's available on Amazon! Even cooler? I got a positive shout-out in a review (and it isn't from my grandmother).
3. Move to a new apartment - Light. Space. New furniture. Close to school. Across the street from Lucky's. It's fantastic, and all credit goes to mi amor for shoving me out of my cave.
4. My mom gets elected to a community college board - Years of service and carrying the school district on her shoulders pays off with a well-deserved win after so much hard work on a truly positive campaign. Community colleges in her district ought to be thanking their lucky stars.
5. Sister Carly performs...a lot - A voice that won't be ignored any longer, she sang the national anthem for her UCLA graduation, performed in front of Richard Carpenter at a scholarship competition, and sang and danced at the El Capitan Theater for Disney's Tangled preshow. 2011 is already bringing more performance slots, so it's only a matter of time...
6. I switch to long fiction - And...it was the best choice ever.
7. Nikki and Tasha visit take over San Francisco - They planned to stay for a few days. They stayed for two weeks. It was monumental fun.
8. Tracy and Jess come to play in the city - A balcony dinner at Cheesecake Factory provided a lovely view and lots of laughs...but not as many as later than night while playing the most ridiculous game ever: Queef Quelf.

9. Major Project 1 - Where writing Muscle Memory turned from school assignment to something that made me happy and eager to write more.
10. I got a new laptop - I just love it. That's all.

E V E N T S
1. Grandma's 75th birthday party - The whole family got together for a karaoke party to end all karaoke parties. Everyone sang. Everyone danced. Everyone drank. Everyone hopes Grandma loses the video footage.
2. Fab4 Reunion - Just before the year ended, the Fab4 (plus beloved additions Alejo and Jess) got together for a delightfully disappointing dinner at The Melting Pot (being mean is just more fun than truly enjoying yourself) followed by a nostalgic drinking fest in the den that birthed the best drinking game of the year. Music Catch Phrase and strip poker followed, and we all made it through without vomiting. A+.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Drinking Game: The Dinner Party
Drink when any of the following occurs:
Camille mentions her pizza oven
A flashback to New York
Anyone says the name "Allison"
Allison makes a bitchy face
 
3. Mom's 50th birthday party - A perfect combination of family and friends proved just how young 50 is these days.
4. Halloween party at Lauren's - Fantastic costumes (well, except one...), dancing the night away, and Angie and Andy even came down! Which proved necessary. Karen and I unknowingly called upon the spirit of Ethel Rosenberg, and now any one of us and our circle of friends are subject to being pushed down stairs or tripped without notice. Walk carefully, all. We apologize in advance.
5. Gay pride parade - My first, and it did a number on me. Fortunately, an ill-advised treat furthered the fun and saved me from certain hangover hell. See you there next year!
6. Booze sailboat for Kyle's birthday - New friend Kyle brought a gaggle of glorious Canadians to the city for a weekend of drinking for his birthday, culminating in a fantastic sailboat under the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset.

7. Housewarming party - With our apartment decorated just in time and a table full of various alcoholic concoctions, the evening was set for perfection. But our neighbor, a full-grown troll with Asian decals on his door, threw a fit and called the cops. Still, it was a great night and we brought our energy to the Castro.
8. Switchback reading - "Dancing Pink Roses" was also published in the 12th issue of Switchback, and it was a great reading, highlighted by Brian's crowd-pleasing story, "Tuesday Anonymous."

9. Brunch at Lime - In the infamous words of Beyoncé, this was a disastuh. But in all the right ways. I lost a jacket, got kicked out of a bar, and had to miss work the next day. Can't wait to go back.
10. Adrienne's going away party at the Schmidt's - This would be higher if it weren't so damn sad. Some of the best barbecue I've ever had coupled with infamous French martinis wasn't enough to take the sting out of Adrienne moving to Washington D.C., but it was an appropriately intimate and delicious send-off.

Stay tuned for my top 10 TV shows, songs, albums, books, and--eventually--movies of 2010.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The First.

Mode of distraction: starting this very blog
Distracting me from: eating dinner, my 40th page of new work on Muscle Memory

I had yet to really consider a blog until last night when I took pictures for my dear friend and confidant, Karen, to use on her own elegant, eclectic blog while the two of us were on a fabulous first* date. Basically, the seed to this blog was jealousy. Her blog is so cool and I love reading it. It seemed like such a lovely distraction for both Karen and followers. And so on.

Seeing as it's a new year, new blog, new post, etc., I'll start in an cliched, basic, and long-winded way, appropriate considering how template-y my blog is to begin with (and I do mean "begin with"...stay tuned for a more imaginative spread): highlights and lowlights to the beginning of 2011.


Highlights
  • Brought in the New Year on a roof with fireworks and some of my favorite friends.
  • Cousin Jenn and her husband Anthony visit for Jenn's first club experience, gay or otherwise. Tremendous fun, complete with a British accent (the kind you can only find in the heart of France).
  • Two great dates: the aforementioned with Karen, and one with mi amor that included a great movie (The King's Speech) and great sushi.
  • Received a fair-but-compromised raise.
  • New bedding that includes Hotel Collection sheets and a heated mattress pad (if you don't own one and live in the city, invest in one immediately).
Lowlights
  • The trials and tribulations that come with re-re-re-re-re-starting a workout program.
  • Missing my opportunity to see Roseanne read from her new book because...I was hungover in bed all day.
  • Becoming obsessed with Avril Lavigne's seriously bratty new single, "What the Hell." 
  • Struggling to reach my bare minimum reading and writing goals I set for myself for my six-week winter break. 

All in all, a slightly sluggish but not disheartening start to the year. Really, what is one to expect with a number like 2011? Though, I will turn 25 this year, and for some reason that number has always seemed significant to me (and not just because Kevin and I can finally call each other and yell "25--fuck I'm old!" à la Sex and the City with actual legitimacy).  I will also presumably have a completed thesis (i.e., starting place to my novel) and an M.F.A. by the end of the year. It has yet to be seen where starting this blog will fall, but I hope it becomes a delightful distraction for me and anyone else in need of one.

Cannot think of a graceful way to end, so...



*Hard to believe it was really our first solo date. We went with the classic: a movie (the devastating and brilliantly acted Rabbit Hole) and our respective go-to cocktails: dirty martini for her, mojito for me. It was her idea to eat at the Hyatt bar, and it did not disappoint: